I've moved on, why can't you?

This started...I don't even know when. It could have been the concrit meme in March, it could have been the big bang failure in April, it could have been the last rant comm that popped up not so long ago, but I do know it's gotten to a point where I have to say something.

You've done what you've set out to accomplish: You killed my love for the pairing. I've left the comm. I've moved on with my life. I stuck around for a while because I was going to post my non-bang there, but I've even decided not to do that. So I'm gone, gone, you'll never see me round those parts again. I have better things to do with my life than to troll you all, so any rumblings that various rant comms/hate memes/whatever else is my doings is your own paranoia and frankly it's insulting for you all to assume I would simply sit in front of the computer screen and scheme. If you must go around smearing my name like that, the least you can do is do it under your own name rather than under the guise of anon because that makes you no better than the trolls. In fact, that makes you a troll.

I've gotten a new journal, yes, but not as some means of chicanery. There are people out there who think that I'm going to use this journal for my evil master plan and one person in particular has been going around telling people not to friend me. I got it because I didn't want to drag the drama onto it, because I wanted a place where I could actually post and feel safe posting. That's why I'm posting this here on my old name rather than my new one. I'm not going to allow you to pollute my new fan space.

I just wanted to get my side out there because silence obviously hasn't been working. I'd rather have a civil, private conversation than a free-for-all, so if you want to contact me about this, send me a PM or even IM me, they're in my profile, otherwise, please move on.

No Future

Fic done in hopes of getting me out of my funk. Plus I've been wanting to write these two for a long while.

Feeling: apathetic

So, yes, Fantasic Four: Dark Reign makes it canon, but doesn't also make it canon that Steve and Tony weren't together in 616? Because if they had been, Civil War never would have happened and that's sort of the point of them showing us that AU. Doesn't mean they didn't love each other and all that, just, you know, they weren't in a relationship. *shrug*

This has done nothing towards getting my bang muse out of the corner it's hiding in. Hmm.

My muse for my bang might have died. I'm not sure what to do.

Playing with dolls and sewing. Sydney's got some new clothes.



( More behind the cut, including CapShirtFail )

Feeling: creative

Everyone can calm down now. Iron Potts isn't a weapon. Have a little more faith in the writer. He's not that crazy.

I realized something mildly horrifying a few moments ago.

My bang is currently at just under 40k. Realistically, with what I want to do with the fic and the pacing of the fic that I've established so far, I can't see it being under 85-95k. That's not the frightening part.

The frightening part is that I'm not sure I'll be able to finish it by May 31st. It seemed a lot more reasonable when I thought I'd have a month with no school to finish it up before the final deadline. Now that I know we can't add any major scenes after May 31st, I'm not so sure.

We'll see I guess.

Well, the good news is that it seems like everything is still there. Bad news is:


Everything has lost it's labeling and is out of order. Plus for some reason, it still is counting everything I re-added as new content, so I have duplicate files of everything. I simply cannot figure out why the project file wouldn't load since everything's there. Strange.

My bang tried to delete itself and only partially succeeded. No, no, no, fic -- despite the subject matter, you're not actually supposed to kill yourself *begins rummaging through files to see what she can salvage*

Feeling: numb

Wow, I'm making a stupid crazy amount of posts lately. At least compared to previous periods of time.

Anyway, who wants to help me with my Japanese homework? I'm supposed to make up some questions about a topic and ask people, and I've decided to ask Interwebs people I know about their real lives. Unfortunately my vocabulary is a bit limited, so the questions are kind of stupid. So, here goes:

What country do you live in?
How do you usually spend your time online?
When do you get online usually?
How often do you get online?

I need at least five people so please answer if you have the time.

Thanks all <3

Finally got around to scanning something I drew months ago

( Tony ahoy )

Feeling: listless

Thanks to everyone who gave me book suggestions. I wrote that part last night and I'm really pleased with it.

But yes, something a bit interesting has occurred.

You see, in my big bang fic, Tony's been forcible removed as Iron Man. He, being Tony, has a back up plan which involves giving the armor, loaded with an AI, to Bethany Cabe.

The preview for IIM #11 is out and I find that basically the same thing is going on in the canon, except replace Beth and my thinly veiled JARVIS knock-off with Pepper and the actual JARVIS (who, btw, makes me excessively happy).

This makes me strangely happy yet very annoyed at the same time. Annoyed because I was really pleased with the idea and am less so now that I know I'm not really that original, and because there will no doubt be people out there that will think I copied it. But I'm mainly annoyed because now I'm going to have to decide what I'm going to do with all this, because Iron Cabe doesn't have a huge role and is there mainly for the sake of completeness. Hrmph.

Perhaps I'm just worrying about canon a bit too much. That's usually the reason why I never get any fics done. I'll keep writing, no doubt. I mean, I'm already 31,000+ words in at this point. But I may have to go back and reconsider certain things before I send it off. And frankly I'm not sure how much time I'll have to review and change it in the two months before the first deadline (which I'm considering the final deadline since I can't add or remove any more big scenes after that) when I'm nowhere near finished and have essays and finals looming in the distance. It's strange that something so small can be so demotivating.

Feeling: blah

Okay, in the fic, for reasons I'll leave vague, Tony is receiving only books for his birthday. However, I've found that I do not actually read a wide enough selection of books to really give him anything other than sci-fi stuff. So, I'd like everyone's opinion on what the following characters might give him as reading material:

Peter
Henry Helrung
Maria Hill
Clint
Hank Pym
Carol
Jarvis
Beth Cabe

Thanks all <3

Feeling: sick

This one is actually not directly connected with the big bang, but more of just a curiosity:

Where are all of Pepper's kids?

I mean, she and Happy adapted all these kids, right? Sooo...where are they?

Sooo...is it canon or fanon that Maria Hill used Spider-Man as a science experiment? I heard it mentioned somewhere, but I can't seem to find any real reference to it in a couple of her bio's I've looked at (though one of the bios said she was half-mutant, half-mermaid -- I'm thinking they copy/pasted Namor's bio as a template), and I'm thinking it's something people would like to get some millage out of.

Thank you my lovelies <3

Feeling: chipper

So, my Anthology of Tony Stark as apparently arrive at home, just in time for my trip back for Katsucon next weekend. I mentioned to her that I got a copy for free because I submitted work for it. I will now relate to you one of the best conversations I have ever had with my mother.

MOM: Sweet! Can I open it and take a look?
ME: Uhhh...I'm not quite sure on the rating of the content in there.
MOM: Yeah, I saw his name on the box and I figured there might be some softcore porn. I mean, he is really hot.

She then related to me how in the early days of her Internetting, she stumbled across Highlander slash and was confused seeing as the characters were never gay in the show, but kept reading anyway because it was a really good fic, she just skimmed over the porn parts. I then admitted to her that I write slash as well because there's some characters that you just feel would make a good couple, whether they're straight or not. And she agreed.

I believe we bonded.

Feeling: amused

Second chapter done. Current word count: 17,740/20,000
Chapters left: Five

My first chapter was 7606, the second 10,134. Does this mean my third will be around 13,000? If this trend keeps up, the final fic will be...around 111,000 words long.

Let's just hope that's not what happens ._.

Good news is, I appear to have written 10,000 words (more counting the scrapped stuff) in less than a week. Bad news, I might have burnt out. We'll see.

Feeling: accomplished

I have a Twitter. I feel I should use it.
https://twitter.com/AbsolutionBot

Feeling: cheerful

I didn't realize that Doc Samson's strength depended on the length of his hair. That's slightly amazing.

Feeling: should be doing homework

Meme thingy

( Fill out the ones you can )

Feeling: determined